| Something has
to change. Undeniable dilemma. Boredom's not a burden anyone should
bear. Constant over stimulation numbs me and I wouldn't have it any
other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I
don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive.
Finger deep within the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we
belong together. Relax, turn around and take my hand. I can help you
change tired moments into pleasure. Say the word and we'll be well upon
our way. Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you till you will
not have me any other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems
to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to
know I'm alive. Knuckle deep inside the borderline. This may hurt a
little but it's something you'll get used to. Relax. Slip away.
Something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything. What became of subtlety? How can it mean
anything to me if I really don't feel anything at all? I'll keep digging
till I feel something. Elbow deep inside the borderline. Show me that
you love me and that we belong together. Shoulder deep within the
borderline. Relax, turn around and take my hand.
| He had a lot to
say. He had a lot of nothing to say. We'll miss him. So long. We wish you
well. You told us how you weren't afraid to die. Well then, so long.
Don't cry. Or feel too down. Not all martyrs see divinity. But at least
you tried. Standing above the crowd he had a voice that was strong and
loud. We'll miss him. Ranting and pointing his finger at everything but
his heart. We'll miss him. No way to recall what it was that you had
said to me, Like I care at all. So loud. You sure could yell. You took a
stand on every little thing and so loud. Standing above the crowd, he
had a voice so strong and loud and I swallowed his façade cuz I'm so
eager to identify with someone above the ground, someone who seemed to
feel the same, someone prepared to lead the way, with someone who would
die for me. Will you? Will you now? Would you die for me? Don't you
fuckin' lie. Don't you step out of line. Don't you fuckin lie. You've
claimed all this time that you would die for me. Why then are you so
surprised to hear your own eulogy? You had a lot to say. You had a lot of
nothing to say. Come down. Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin
space to nail the next fool martyr. To ascend you must die. You must be
crucified for your sins and your lies. Goodbye...
| What's coming through
is alive. What's holding up is a mirror. But what's singing songs is a
snake looking to turn this piss to wine. They're both totally void of
hate, but killing me just the same. The snake behind me hisses what my
damage could have been. My blood before me begs me open up my heart
again. And I feel this coming over like a storm again. considerately.
Venomous voice, tempts me, drains me, bleeds me, leaves me cracked and
empty. Drags me down like some sweet gravity. The snake behind me hisses
what my damage could have been. My blood before me begs me open up my
heart again. And I feel this coming over like a storm again. I am too
connected to you to slip away, to fade away. Days away I still feel you
touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me. Without the
skin, beneath the storm, under these tears the walls came down. And the
snake is drowned and as I look in his eyes, my fear begins to fade
recalling all of those times. I could have cried then. I should have
cried then. And as the walls come down and as I look in your eyes my
fear begins to fade recalling all of the times I have died and will die.
It's all right. I don't mind. I am too connected to you to slip away, to
fade away. Days away I still feel you touching me, changing me, and
considerately killing me.
Forty-Six & 2
shadow's Shedding skin and I've been picking scabs again. I'm down
digging through my old muscles looking for a clue. I've been crawling on
my belly clearing out what could've been. I've been wallowing in my own
confused and insecure delusions for a piece to cross me over or a word
to guide me in. I wanna feel the changes coming down. I wanna know what
I've been hiding in my shadow. Change is coming through my shadow. My
shadow's shedding skin I've been picking my scabs again. I've been
crawling on my belly clearing out what could've been I've been wallowing
in my own chaotic and insecure delusions. I wanna feel the change
consume me, feel the outside turning in. I wanna feel the metamorphosis
and cleansing I've endured within my shadow. Change is coming. Now is my
time. Listen to my muscle memory. Contemplate what I've been clinging
to. Forty-six and two ahead of me. I choose to live and to grow, take
and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be
paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move
through. I choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn
and love and to do what it takes to step through. See my shadow
changing, stretching up and over me soften this old armor. hoping I can
clear the way by stepping through my shadow, coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow. Forty six and two are just ahead of me.
Hooker with a Penis
| I met
a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a dope beastie-tee, nipple rings, and new
tattoos that claimed that he was OGT, from '92, the first EP. and in
between sips of coke he told me that he thought we were sellin' out,
layin' down, suckin' up to the man. Well now I've got some advice for
you, little buddy. Before you point the finger you should know that I'm
the man, and if I'm the man, then you're the man, and he's the man as
well so you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass. All you know
about me is what I've sold you, Dumb fuck. I sold out long before you
ever heard my name. I sold my soul to make a record, Dip shit, and you
bought one. So I've got some Advice for you, little buddy. Before you
point your finger You should know that I'm the man. If I'm the fuckin'
man then you're the fuckin' man as well, So you can Point that fuckin'
finger up your ass. All you know about me is what I've sold you, Dumb
fuck. I sold out long before you ever heard my name. I sold my soul to
make a record, Dip shit, And you bought one. All you read and Wear or
see and Hear on TV Is a product Begging for your Fatass dirty Dollar So
... Shut up and Buy my new record Send more money Fuck you, buddy.
| What was it like to
see the face of your own stability suddenly look away leaving you with
the dead and hopeless? Eleven and she was gone. Eleven is when we waved
good-bye. Eleven is standing still, waiting for me to free him by coming
home. Moving me with a sound. Opening me within a gesture. Drawing me
down and in, showing me where it all began, Eleven. It took so long to
realize that you hold the light that's been leading me back home. Under
a dead Ohio sky, defending his light, and wondering... where the hell
have I been? Sleeping, lost, and numb. So glad that I have found you. I
am wide awake and heading home. Hold your light, Eleven. Lead me through
each gentle step by step by inch by loaded memory. I'll move to heal as
soon as pain allows so we can reunite and both move on together. Hold
your light, eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step by inch by
loaded memory 'till one and one are one, eleven, so glow, child, glow.
I'm heading back home.
Die Eier von Satan
halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz Eine Messerspitze türkisches
Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker Ein
halbes Pfund Mehl Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse Ein wenig
extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier In eine Schüssel geben Butter einrühren
Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten Augenballgroße Stücke
vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker wälzen und Sagt die Zauberwörter
Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei
zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER Bei
zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..
| I will choke until
I swallow... Choke this infant here before me. What is this but my
reflection? Who am I to judge and strike you down? But you're pushing
and shoving me. You still love me and you pushit on me. Rest your
trigger on my finger, bang my head upon the fault line. Take care not to
make me enter. 'cause if I do we both may disappear. But you're pushing
me, shoving me. Pushit on me. Slipping back into the gap again. I'm
alive when you're touching me, alive when you're shoving me down. But I'd
trade it all for just a little bit of piece of mind. Put me
somewhere I don't wanna be. Seeing someplace I don't wanna see. Never
wanna see that place again. Saw that gap again today as you were begging
me to stay. Managed to push myself away, and you, as well. If, when I
say I may fade like a sigh if I stay, you minimize my movement anyway, I
must persuade you another way. There's no love in fear. Staring down the
hole again. Hands upon my back again. Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come. Just remember I will always love you, even
as I tear your fucking throat away. But it will end no other way.
| Some say the end
is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I
sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow
of Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to
fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn
to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Fret for your figure and Fret
for your latte and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your Prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract
and Fret for your car. It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to fix
it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to
swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Some say a comet will fall from
the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by fault lines
that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded
dipshits. Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz I sure could use a vacation from this Silly
shit, stupid shit... One great big festering neon distraction, I've a
suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim. Mom's gonna fix it
all soon. Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.
Learn to swim. Fuck L Ron Hubbard and Fuck all his clones. Fuck all
those gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes. Learn to swim. Fuck retro
anything. Fuck your tattoos. Fuck all you junkies and Fuck your short
memory. Learn to swim. Fuck smiley glad-hands With hidden agendas. Fuck
these dysfunctional, Insecure actresses. Learn to swim. Cuz I'm praying
for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves I wanna see the ground give
way. I wanna watch it all go down. Mom please flush it all away. I wanna
watch it go right in and down. I wanna watch it go right in. Watch you
flush it all away. Time to bring it down again. Don't just call me
pessimist. Try and read between the lines. I can't imagine why you
wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend. I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down. flush it down.
| Dreaming of
that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and
comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes. On my back and
tumbling down that hole and back again rising up and wiping the webs and
the dew from my withered eye. In Out In Out In Out A child's rhyme stuck
in my head. It said that life is but a dream. I've spent so many years
in question to find I've known this all along. "So good to see you.
I've missed you so much. So glad it's over. I've missed you so much.
Came out to watch you play. Why are you running?" Shrouding all the
ground around me. Is this holy crow above me. Black as holes within a
memory and blue as our new second sun. I stick my hand into his shadow
to pull the pieces from the sand. Which I attempt to reassemble to see
just who I might have been. I do not recognize the vessel, but the eyes
seem so familiar. Like phosphorescent desert buttons singing one
familiar song... "So good to see you. I've missed you so much. So
glad it's over. I've missed you so much. Came out to watch you play. Why
are you running away?" Prying open my third eye. So good to see you
once again. I thought that you were hiding. And you thought that I had
run away. Chasing the tail of dogma. I opened my eye and there we were.
So good to see you once again I thought that you were hiding from me.
And you thought that I had run away. Chasing a trail of smoke and
reason. Prying open my third eye.