ÆNIMA

Stinkfist

Something has to change. Undeniable dilemma. Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear. Constant over stimulation numbs me and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive. Finger deep within the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together. Relax, turn around and take my hand. I can help you change tired moments into pleasure. Say the word and we'll be well upon our way. Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you till you will not have me any other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive. Knuckle deep inside the borderline. This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to. Relax. Slip away. Something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be. Desensitized to everything. What became of subtlety? How can it mean anything to me if I really don't feel anything at all? I'll keep digging till I feel something. Elbow deep inside the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together. Shoulder deep within the borderline. Relax, turn around and take my hand.

Eulogy

He had a lot to say. He had a lot of nothing to say. We'll miss him. So long. We wish you well. You told us how you weren't afraid to die. Well then, so long. Don't cry. Or feel too down. Not all martyrs see divinity. But at least you tried. Standing above the crowd he had a voice that was strong and loud. We'll miss him. Ranting and pointing his finger at everything but his heart. We'll miss him. No way to recall what it was that you had said to me, Like I care at all. So loud. You sure could yell. You took a stand on every little thing and so loud. Standing above the crowd, he had a voice so strong and loud and I swallowed his façade cuz I'm so eager to identify with someone above the ground, someone who seemed to feel the same, someone prepared to lead the way, with someone who would die for me. Will you? Will you now? Would you die for me? Don't you fuckin' lie. Don't you step out of line. Don't you fuckin lie. You've claimed all this time that you would die for me. Why then are you so surprised to hear your own eulogy? You had a lot to say. You had a lot of nothing to say. Come down. Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr. To ascend you must die. You must be crucified for your sins and your lies. Goodbye...

What's coming through is alive. What's holding up is a mirror. But what's singing songs is a snake looking to turn this piss to wine. They're both totally void of hate, but killing me just the same. The snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been. My blood before me begs me open up my heart again. And I feel this coming over like a storm again. considerately. Venomous voice, tempts me, drains me, bleeds me, leaves me cracked and empty. Drags me down like some sweet gravity. The snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been. My blood before me begs me open up my heart again. And I feel this coming over like a storm again. I am too connected to you to slip away, to fade away. Days away I still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me. Without the skin, beneath the storm, under these tears the walls came down. And the snake is drowned and as I look in his eyes, my fear begins to fade recalling all of those times. I could have cried then. I should have cried then. And as the walls come down and as I look in your eyes my fear begins to fade recalling all of the times I have died and will die. It's all right. I don't mind. I am too connected to you to slip away, to fade away. Days away I still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me.

Forty-Six & 2

My shadow's Shedding skin and I've been picking scabs again. I'm down digging through my old muscles looking for a clue. I've been crawling on my belly clearing out what could've been. I've been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions for a piece to cross me over or a word to guide me in. I wanna feel the changes coming down. I wanna know what I've been hiding in my shadow. Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin I've been picking my scabs again. I've been crawling on my belly clearing out what could've been I've been wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions. I wanna feel the change consume me, feel the outside turning in. I wanna feel the metamorphosis and cleansing I've endured within my shadow. Change is coming. Now is my time. Listen to my muscle memory. Contemplate what I've been clinging to. Forty-six and two ahead of me. I choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. I choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. See my shadow changing, stretching up and over me soften this old armor. hoping I can clear the way by stepping through my shadow, coming out the other side. Step into the shadow. Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

Hooker with a Penis

I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a dope beastie-tee, nipple rings, and new tattoos that claimed that he was OGT, from '92, the first EP. and in between sips of coke he told me that he thought we were sellin' out, layin' down, suckin' up to the man. Well now I've got some advice for you, little buddy. Before you point the finger you should know that I'm the man, and if I'm the man, then you're the man, and he's the man as well so you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass. All you know about me is what I've sold you, Dumb fuck. I sold out long before you ever heard my name. I sold my soul to make a record, Dip shit, and you bought one. So I've got some Advice for you, little buddy. Before you point your finger You should know that I'm the man. If I'm the fuckin' man then you're the fuckin' man as well, So you can Point that fuckin' finger up your ass. All you know about me is what I've sold you, Dumb fuck. I sold out long before you ever heard my name. I sold my soul to make a record, Dip shit, And you bought one. All you read and Wear or see and Hear on TV Is a product Begging for your Fatass dirty Dollar So ... Shut up and Buy my new record Send more money Fuck you, buddy.

Jimmy

What was it like to see the face of your own stability suddenly look away leaving you with the dead and hopeless? Eleven and she was gone. Eleven is when we waved good-bye. Eleven is standing still, waiting for me to free him by coming home. Moving me with a sound. Opening me within a gesture. Drawing me down and in, showing me where it all began, Eleven. It took so long to realize that you hold the light that's been leading me back home. Under a dead Ohio sky, defending his light, and wondering... where the hell have I been? Sleeping, lost, and numb. So glad that I have found you. I am wide awake and heading home. Hold your light, Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step by inch by loaded memory. I'll move to heal as soon as pain allows so we can reunite and both move on together. Hold your light, eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step by inch by loaded memory 'till one and one are one, eleven, so glow, child, glow. I'm heading back home.

Die Eier von Satan

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz Eine Messerspitze türkisches Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker Ein halbes Pfund Mehl Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse Ein wenig extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier In eine Schüssel geben Butter einrühren Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker wälzen und Sagt die Zauberwörter Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..

Pushit

I will choke until I swallow... Choke this infant here before me. What is this but my reflection? Who am I to judge and strike you down? But you're pushing and shoving me. You still love me and you pushit on me. Rest your trigger on my finger, bang my head upon the fault line. Take care not to make me enter. 'cause if I do we both may disappear. But you're pushing me, shoving me. Pushit on me. Slipping back into the gap again. I'm alive when you're touching me, alive when you're shoving me down. But I'd trade it all for just a little bit of piece of mind. Put me somewhere I don't wanna be. Seeing someplace I don't wanna see. Never wanna see that place again. Saw that gap again today as you were begging me to stay. Managed to push myself away, and you, as well. If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay, you minimize my movement anyway, I must persuade you another way. There's no love in fear. Staring down the hole again. Hands upon my back again. Survival is my only friend. Terrified of what may come. Just remember I will always love you, even as I tear your fucking throat away. But it will end no other way.

Ænema

Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow of Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your Prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car. It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Any fucking time. Any fucking day. Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay. Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits. Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will cuz I sure could use a vacation from this Silly shit, stupid shit... One great big festering neon distraction, I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim. Mom's gonna fix it all soon. Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be. Learn to swim. Fuck L Ron Hubbard and Fuck all his clones. Fuck all those gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes. Learn to swim. Fuck retro anything. Fuck your tattoos. Fuck all you junkies and Fuck your short memory. Learn to swim. Fuck smiley glad-hands With hidden agendas. Fuck these dysfunctional, Insecure actresses. Learn to swim. Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down. Mom please flush it all away. I wanna watch it go right in and down. I wanna watch it go right in. Watch you flush it all away. Time to bring it down again. Don't just call me pessimist. Try and read between the lines. I can't imagine why you wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend. I wanna see it all come down. suck it down. flush it down.

Third Eye

Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes. On my back and tumbling down that hole and back again rising up and wiping the webs and the dew from my withered eye. In Out In Out In Out A child's rhyme stuck in my head. It said that life is but a dream. I've spent so many years in question to find I've known this all along. "So good to see you. I've missed you so much. So glad it's over. I've missed you so much. Came out to watch you play. Why are you running?" Shrouding all the ground around me. Is this holy crow above me. Black as holes within a memory and blue as our new second sun. I stick my hand into his shadow to pull the pieces from the sand. Which I attempt to reassemble to see just who I might have been. I do not recognize the vessel, but the eyes seem so familiar. Like phosphorescent desert buttons singing one familiar song... "So good to see you. I've missed you so much. So glad it's over. I've missed you so much. Came out to watch you play. Why are you running away?" Prying open my third eye. So good to see you once again. I thought that you were hiding. And you thought that I had run away. Chasing the tail of dogma. I opened my eye and there we were. So good to see you once again I thought that you were hiding from me. And you thought that I had run away. Chasing a trail of smoke and reason. Prying open my third eye.